Storm Calmer, Part 2

“But now thus says the Lord, 
he who created you, O Jacob, 
he who formed you, O Israel: 
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; 
I have called you by name, you are mine.”

Isaiah 43:1 (ESV)

Our name is central to our core identity.  It’s the first real word we know as infants and associate with ‘self’.  It’s also known and present to us into the most advanced stages of dementia.  You are your name, and it is important.  This is why it’s so important to avoid “elder speak” when interacting with the elderly or with the cognitively impaired.  Alzheimer’s Org UK gives this admonition:

“Always remember the person behind the dementia. It’s fine if the person needs you to speak slower than usual, but try to keep your tone of voice the same as with anyone else.  Some people may like being called ‘love’ or ‘dear’, but … it is usually best to use their name instead.  This helps keep their dignity intact.”
(https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/blog/language-dementia-what-not-to-say)

In Luke 8:26-39 (the second account from our 2-part storm-calming episode), when Jesus is accosted by the demon-possessed Gerasene man, after ordering the defiant demons out and receiving a plea to not be tormented, Jesus responds simply with one question:  “What is your name?”

Countless commentaries, sermons, bible studies and casual readings have impressed on me that this question was for the demon legions within the man.  But the realization came to me this week that perhaps this question was not for the demons at all, but for the man trapped behind the tempest of raging and malicious voices tormenting his mind and obscuring all reality.  I’m sure Jesus knew the names of each of the forsaken fallen entities in that man, and knew He wouldn’t get a straight answer anyway. 

Was Jesus in fact talking past the demons and speaking directly to the man trapped behind, as if to remind him of his identity, and validate his worth, and acknowledge that he is seen for who he is, no matter his present circumstance?  That sounds to me very much like something Jesus would do.

A simple perceptive question was the beginning of the undoing and redeeming of years of vile dehumanization.  Jesus didn’t ask because He didn’t know.  He asked because this man needed to be reminded he had eternal worth, and was seen by an Almighty and kind God.

(* Let me insert a very important disclaimer at this point.  I’m about to imply similarities that could make some think I somehow believe dementia is a spiritual problem, or worse, the effects of demonic oppression.  Let me be absolutely clear on this - I do not believe that dementia is a spiritual condition.  It is a physiological condition with genetic, medical, and natural factors.  Yes, it can be very impacted by spiritual influences - both good and evil, but the families of dementias are neurological diseases, not spiritual infestations. )

For many dementia sufferers, it can feel like they are in a persistent mental storm, disoriented, perplexed, anxious and afraid.  While there aren’t demons to be cast out, and I’m not aware of any miraculous healing of dementia, there’s a principle here that applies:  Jesus is the calmer of the storm.  Whatever the cause, and no matter the Saffir-Simpson scale of the psychological and emotional winds, Jesus can speak both “peace be still”, as well as “What is your name?” - to quiet the noise, and to remind of a person’s infinite worth and purpose.

We partake in that miracle and blessed work when we as caregivers strive to speak “peace” to the storms around us in Jesus’ name, and then speak the name of our beloved in dignified and value-affirming tone.   It’s the opposite of elder-speak, a derogatory tone that comes from a place of disrespect, aggravation, and devaluation.

Of course, we as caregivers must also be tuned into the voice of Jesus.  When we are in the thick of our caregiver responsibilities it is so easy to get focused on the waves and lose sight of our Lord who is walking towards us on the water.  We need to hear him speak our name, and remind us of our worth and value.  We need to be reminded we are seen and not forgotten.  We need to pause and listen.

I don’t know the exact nature of the storms you may be facing, the voices of accusation in your head, or the magnitude of the emotional, mental, and spiritual storms embattling you and your cared-for, but I know the One who can silence those storms and speak “peace” into our most chaotic moments.   There is power in the name of Jesus, and speaking it, calling upon it, and exalting it can bring resilience, resolve, strength and peace into your heart and mind.  

Practically, for us this would often mean filling our home or our car rides with worship and praise music ( for Nola, this meant especially the southern gospel tunes she knew and was raised with ) and reading the Scripture together - especially Psalms and reminders of the Lord’s faithfulness in the midst of trouble and suffering.  I have an entire folder of notes in my Google Keep app labeled “Bible Study with Nola” where I would collect Scriptures that we would read together, especially early on when her paranoia and hallucination symptoms were really bad before she was fully diagnosed or on proper medication. It was in prayer, Scripture reading, and praise where some of the most profound experiences of peace in her dementia storm occurred, even until the very end.

How about you?  Do you have some breakthrough experiences in your caregiving journey where you’ve seen the Lord silence your wind and waves?  Do you have practical suggestions or “hacks” in caregiving that you’ve found helpful in maintaining a peaceful mind and home?  We would love to hear these and share them with other caregivers.  There’s so much strength in community when we pull on our collective experiences and learnings.

You can always reach out with insights, or requests for prayer through our “Contact Us” page.

Let me leave you with some more encouragement from Isaiah 43 (a powerful burst of hope to a faithful remnant in the midst of some really terrible things going down in their nation ):

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.

For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior…”

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Is 43:2–3). (2016). Crossway Bibles.

And one final piece of encouragement from a new favorite praise chorus of mine from Charity Gayle, “I Speak Jesus”: https://youtu.be/PcmqSfr1ENY